Week 13

The weekend you turned 13 weeks, on Sunday to be precise. At 13 weeks 1 day old you suddenly took a big afternoon nap. 3 hour nap! Sadly it only lasted that day. Never happened again. I'm beginning to notice during your wonder week, you sleep more than usual. Just as when it happened when you were 6 wks old. This week also you started showing signs of wanting more milk. We started you on Nan Pro Gold now. S26 smells strongly and left your bottles oily. You are now at  150 mls, 6 bottles a day. You did 180mls with S26 but most time couldn't finish.

Monday - it is the second week of spring break for Mia. Last night I braved myself to sleep with you in our room. I just couldn't sleep! Either you were noisy with your moans and groans. Or you were just shuffling soooo much! So after your midnight feed, I put you in a sleeping bag. Swaddled inside. At your usual 4am feed (yes for some reason you woke up twice! Usually you skipped midnight and up at 4 instead), you were wriggling your hands so much I decided to unswaddle you instead. Your arms always came out anyways. You don't seem to mind. But day naps are so hard for you unswaddled.

I managed to contact Dr Kirby to schedule circumcision for you. Unfortunately he only does babies under 4 weeks old and we have to wait til you start walking. Disappointed, I searched for other doctors and found Dr Stephen Paul Cowie at Redgumskin clinic. Scheduled a consultation for next Monday.

Tuesday - we went Ikea. Poor Mia had been wanting to go to their playroom. So after your morning nap, we went had lunch there with you in BabyBjorn and after lunch I sent her in the playroom while you slept in the stroller we went around Ikea.

Wednesday - sent Dad to work then went back home for your morning nap before heading to Cafe Primo for lunch, as promised to Mia. You napped in the stroller until it was time to pick up Dad. Then we went to send Mia off to her praying class and we spent time at Dolcetti while waiting for her.

Thursday - I decided to drop by CAFHS to weigh you and meet up with the nurse. You weighed 5.8kg and 59cm. Then we head up to Payneham Oval Playground so Mia can have some playtime. Picked up Dad then off to Mia's swim school.

Friday - we came home and after your morning nap we went Bread Garden for some snacks while waiting to pick up Dad. Then off to Central Market!

Updates 9wks, 10wks, 11wks and 12wks

8wks and 9wks
Tuesday, the day after my eye appointment. After sending off Daddy and Mia to work and school, I took you and off we went to send some jellies for a friend daughter's birthday party. The journey took close to 30mins. I buckled in, crossed fingers and hope for the best. You were good. Slept and stirred few times but you didn't wake up. Upon reaching home, you didn't want to continue sleeping and had a hard time settling but not too bad, considering. It was also the day I decided to fully formula feed you. I fed you, you settled much better. With tears, I apologised for all the hard time we had to go through with breastfeeding. Thrush, mastitis, wind, latching, etc. I whispered in your ear and I also said "Mum's  crazy, isn't she?". I hope you understand. And forgive me. I hope, in time, I will learn to forgive myself.

The following day, Aunty Ida and Aunty Yvonne and I met up at Pasta Deli for brunch. I am so grateful for some social life. Everything felt so overwhelming as of late. It was also the Wednesday morning that I was supposed to meet up with the lactation consultant. I didn't go. Instead, I went to my GP which I have already made an appointment with together with having you immunised for your 6wks shot. Your shots were scary to me. There were 2 shots and I had to hold your upper body close while they (a nurse and doc) injected both your thighs at the same time. Of course you screamed. But upon cuddles, you settled again. Then daddy took you while i went for my checkup next. Polyp still there, a report been sent to WCH, etc etc.

Thursday is Mia's appointment with Dr Powers. He looks older. And must have some hearing problems. Her liver is a little off but nothing to worry too much about. Friday is school closure day. We went to the Royal Adelaide Show! Your first time. By the end of today I was feeling even more exhausted and anxiety creeping in. You have started conversations with Daddy and Mia. Not so much with me.

Week 9
By Sunday night I was getting more anxious. Especially as night time nears and Daddy has to work the following day.

I'm not quite sure when but at some point I started sleeping on the couch instead in the room with you. You're such a noisy sleeper and it also gives Dad a chance to take over night feeds if you wake up when he's still not sleeping.

Monday is also another blood test and checkup. We are still waiting for you haemoglobin to shoot up to normal so we can circumsize you. At some point also you were asked to take folic acid, vit e and iron supplements. By this time you have acknowledged me and talked to me a little. One full conversation.

By this week I had thought to myself that I need to get out of the house while Daddy's at work so Tuesday went to Mia's school and for a walk at the oval before pick up time. Wednesday is inspection day and later, another meet up at Pasta Deli with the Aunties. Teared up and feeling still anxious and quite overwhelmed. Today you had another full conversation with me while Aunty Yvonne took a picture of us. Thursday met up with Jocelyn at BV again. Friday morning I took you to Mia's school assembly. I had prepared your mid morning bottle earlier and after assembly I took you to Marden Shopping Centre for coffee while I held you for your nap. Spent time there alone with you til you woke up for a feed and went Woolies before heading home. Feeling a little grateful weekend is just the next day.

Week 10
By this week Daddy takes over at least one night round. You're pretty good, actually. Waking up at 11pm-ish and/or 4am-ish. But like Mia, you're like a 7am alarm clock. Not that you're hungry or anything. You just want the lights on. And carried on having conversations with the bedroom light for half or hour or so before I pick you up for a change and feed. By this week I'm already noticing you nap less than an hour. At most 40mins. You're good at night. Self settle after feed and bedtime. But naps are bad. Usually after 30-40min you'd wake and I'll have to pick up and shush pat you again. Then you'll continue to sleep. Your wake time is only up to an hour after feed. No matter what we do. Unless you sleep on me or in your stroller or in your carrier. You can go on and nap for longer.

Monday is another blood test and thank god your haemoglobin has gone up from 68 to 80. Bilirubin has already gone down. So we're now referred to Dr Power and no more blood testing. Just an appointment with Dr Ram the haematologist next Tuesday. I am feeling less overwhelmed and anxious by this week. I reckon it was the lack of sleep and nightly wakings alone that wrecked me. Also worrying about your health. Tuesday went to send my phone for fixing. They said it'll take a week or so. Wednesday no more Pasta Deli meetings since both aunties are busy. Friday another meetup with Aunty Jocelyn and her Abby.

Week 11
Daddy had the Monday off from work so he stayed with you while I went for Mia's school showcase. Tuesday was the appointment with Dr Ram the haematologist. It was at a centre at WCH together with Oncology. Quite depressing to see little children with cancer. You slept through the whole appointment.

By this week you showed a pattern somewhat. Bedtime at 7 or 8pm and you only sometimes wake up at 10 or 11pm for a last feed. Sometimes at 1 or 2 am. But most times 4am ish.

Week 12
Sunday night we were invited to Karen n Suzanne's for moussaka and roast chicken dinner. You were good. Though you did manage to poo loudly while in your carrier. And while we were all at the table having dinner! Rest of the time you slept and interacted well. Slept in my arms til midnight! Went home and still slept. Well done, boy. Monday was labour day. Mia is also her 2 weeks spring break. Tuesday we sent Dad to work and came home so you can get your morning nap. Then we went to the park behind our house. I carried you in the BabyBjorn and you loved the swing. Wednesday Daddy had the day off and Mia has a playdate so we sent Mia and went to Cibo BV while we waited for her.

Thursday was your appointment with Dr Power. By now you weigh 5.6kg, 60cm in length. 120ml milk 6 to 7 times a day. He said we can try reduce the feed to 6. Been gaining 200g/week. You're certainly bigger than Mia. Dr said we can try solids by 4 months following the latest guideline. I'm not sure how I feel abt it yet. Now that you're 12 weeks, circumcision can only happen after 6 months under general anaesthetic. Referred to WCH. Another appointment with Dr Power in 3 wks time. Now to just monitor you. Mentioned to him about your nap. He said "to use tough love" and "let him take care of himself". Meaning leave you to cry it out for as long as it takes to sleep back again.

Friday we sent Daddy off to work and came home for your nap. I let you cry for 30mins before coming in because it was nearing your feed time. Your wake time can sometimes stretch to 1hr 15mins after feed but only sometimes.

On another note, I got my period back today.

Tomorrow is weekend again.
And I'm still sleeping on the couch. With the baby monitor.
I still don't dare to sleep in the room with you.

Updates! Mama's visit, 5wks, 6wks, 7wks, 8wks update.

5 weeks - you've started to become more alert. Showing signs of some better vision. Slept through 5hrs straight at 4wks plus.

Mama came when you were 5wks old. She arrived Friday morning 12th Aug. We took her to central market and breakfast at Lucia's. Mia had pupil's free day. On Sat we took her to Aldi and Tea Tree Plaza. I stopped expressing and decided to directly breastfeed - cold turkey. I also baby wore for quite some time. Sunday we went Red Umbrella Market. Monday you have your blood work check up. Left Mama at home while Dad and I took you for your checkup. Dayah's baby arrived back in msia.

Tuesday Dad went back to work and we had to visit Mia's dentist for a check up. Baby wore again for quite some time. The whole day in fact. Developed mastitis on Wed night on left side. Fever, shivers - the lot! Thursday morning Dad took leave and took me to the gp. On antibiotics. Friday developed on the right breast. At night Mama insists going to the market. Dragged myself there and had an episode of shivers once there. Panadol and Nurofen double dose. Another shiver episode at home later and well into the night.

Saturday you turned 6 weeks old. We took Mama on a final shopping/outing. Burnside Village, Spotlight, etc etc. You finally had a funny stretch of sleep in the car while everyone was out and about. Saturday night was dinner at Aunty Yvonne's. Sunday morning was Mama's flight back to Msia.

6 weeks
Monday - We went back to mixing with formula and breastmilk. You were a dream. Feed sleep mostly. I had to drive us to get your blood drawn in the morning - was nervous but you were a dream. Slept nicely in the car. So content, if not sleeping. Upon Dr Kochar's checkup, your hb is still low and bilirubin still high. You also had thrush in your mouth and bum. I am getting more overwhelmed. Wednesday we went to BV and had coffee with Jocelyn and Abby. I babywore. You slept most time. Even after milk, during burping and otw home. Thursday was Book Week and I babywore again. After book week parade I took you and we went CAFHS to check out if they can help us with anything. They referred to a Lactation Consultant for next Tues at Fullarton. Later that night, mild blocked ducts. Both sides. We were also supposed to have your immunization shot the same afternoon after Mia's swimming lessons. But I raised concerns you were not yourself. Rescheduled shot to 2 wks time. They suggested we head to WCH. "Probably nothing serious but if it is, you'd be beside yourself knowing you didn't check". They said. I didn't pack enough milk so we decided to go the next day. By then, you became more alert and we didn't go WCH.

7 weeks!
Saturday we went Big W for wipes. I accidentally scratched your face with my nail and you bled!!!
Monday went just to draw blood. Dr Kochar called with the results. Your levels continued the same. No changes. Another blood work next week. Tuesday visit with the LC. She said directly breastfeed and stop expressing. I did. For 2 days. By Thursday I stopped by CAFHS norwood again. My left breast hurts so bad. They said see LC again and scheduled for next Wed. I left CAFHS feeling more frustrated. Decided to stop BF and gave you mixture of formula and bm.

Friday and Sunday - catering.
By now you gave us 4.5 to 5 hrs stretched at night but usually fell on the first part of the night eg: 7pm-12am. Sometimes bit later 12-4am. But usually by 7am you're already making loud noises wanting the lights on. Like an alarm. By 6-ish am you started grunting and moaning and by 7am clear cries.

8weeks!
Monday morning was another blood work checkup. Dr Kochar said you still have thrush in your mouth a little but bum has cleared. You weighed 4.66kg. In the afternoon was my eye doctor appointment. You slept and sat in the stroller. Tonight you're fussing a little.

Sometimes you can go 4-5hrs stretch at night. Most nights are still every 3hourly. You have outgrown most newborn sizes.

Incision

7/8
We were at Tea Tree Plaza to get some nappies and wet wipes. Also browse around when I decided to take you in the parent room for a feed.

Then went to the toilet and the mirrors are low enough (for parent n child) so I took the opportunity to check my wound. Took the plaster of gently, anndd... nothing! Couldn't see a thing! It was so thin and no raised mark (unlike with Mia's) at all! Not even any redness! Super happy. I still feel inside shots of pains but very, very minor. Outer incision has healed completely 100%.

Still bleeding on and off. Depending on activities and level of walking.

8/8
You were a nightmare today. Wouldn't sleep on your own. Only in my arms and only at 10mins intervals. Maybe it's another growth spurt moment.

I'm feeling quite relaxed now that I am breastfeeding the way I want it. Not how that Annie midwife taught (or imposed) on me. Maybe she's right. With her technique and all. But for me, her position is uncomfortable, and I do not enjoy it at all. Hence, making me feel like I can't breastfeed baby. And the stress increases. Yes I may suffer cracked nipples but I've found a way to combat that. Nipple cream after every single feed! And as for mastitis, express after feed at every chance I get. Now I'm more confident at this. Now I'm more relaxed.

Green poop!

Green poop tday.
Your stump fell out on day 9.

I am still sleep deprived.
Can only retain bits and pieces of information. And memories.