Controversy

I'm not sure about my readers though I suppose majority would not be able to accept my opinions on this matter. I suppose having a husband as a researcher and the possibility of doing intense psychological research the past few years of my life shifted our views tremendously from the norm. Especially one without pure recent research, hypothetical, concrete evidence.

Some thoughts and remarks I received about pregnancy and babies:
1. Drink lots of soy milk your baby will turn out fair and have soft skin
2. Recite versus from the Quran the baby will be smart/good looking depending on the verse
3. Always look at cute baby pictures so the baby won't turn out disasterous
4. Refrain from looking at ugly sights/animals/point out to strange animals
5. Have your baby overseas, they may turn out to look like the locals (fair-skinned, sharp nose)
6. Try hiding your bump (oh for god's sake!)
7. Don't follow your body and laze around or the baby will turn out to be very lazy
8. Eat fish and cod's liver oil, the baby will be smart
9. If it's a girl, she sucks the beauty out of you
10. The 40 days confinement

Now since this is my blog, I'm entitled to my opinions whether you agree or disagree about what I'm about to say on these remarks.

Honestly, it's pretty hard for me to digest and believe these remarks. I'm sure all babies come out soft-skinned and whether they'll turn fair or dark, it's all in the pigmentation of both parent's genes. As far for the Quran citings, yes, I do believe citing the Quran during pregnancy has a calming effect on the mother (on those roller-coaster swings) and baby (when he/she hears it) especially when it's cited rhythmically. But if you're telling me it'll make my baby a genius, or make him/her good-looking, I suppose I'd need something more convincing than hearing about one's experiences. Like Daddy said, maybe Einstein's parents did that when he was in the womb. Once again, it's my opinion. I suppose I'll let God decide if he wants my baby to be smart or not so. I won't hang onto hope so much on this matter.

I'd prefer not to argue about number 3, I think it's purely a waste of time. And #4, I'm sure some of you may have experienced or heard many stories over this matter. Some may be very convincing too, I suppose. Though I believe if as such happens, there's a medical or scientific reasons to it. Cri-du-chat syndrome is rare but not unheard of.

#5 oh dear #5. If my baby turned out to look like some locals here, you'd think Daddy should be worried, eh? =) I certainly hope my baby will have mine or his/her Daddy's features. If not, the baby will have a mixture of us both. Or anyone on his/her Daddy's side of the family or my side of the family. Thank you very much.

I guess I've made my point clear in #6. As for #7, I'd say listen to your body is best. It'll tell you when to take it easy and rest. Afterall, it's mostly your body working out. #8 is actually dangerous. Mercury in fish and vitamin-A in cod's liver oil if taken too much can cause deficiency in baby's development. So is liver. Twice a week is fine.

Oh come on #9. If you tend to look tired or "ugly", it's your body working you up. You've a growing baby inside you!! Geez!!

Okay now goes the sensitive #10. I know, I know. I think in a few centuries, confinement will become a joke to us - and actually hear people laughing about it. I don't quite think it is necessary. Especially the 'do not leave the house for 40 days' part. Personally, I think eat healthy, get plenty of rest, gentle exercise, and you'll be fine. The rest are all extra measures. It's no longer the time for mothers to hide themselves because they "just had sex!" and have a baby - which I'm sure that's how it all started in the olden days anyway.

I know this is a senstive issue and I am aware of cultural issues involved too. In many other cultures, it's more than what we're used to. Sometimes may sound even bizarre to us. One of my African friends cannot name her baby until he/she is 7 days old. Which I don't find it a problem at all. Herbal medicines are proven to work too. Recently I heard the Chinese drink pork belly broth to heal faster after delivery. And I may rant myself crazy about my small belly but I am aware that bellies are different and our bodies are different. And no, I don't believe my backpains are caused by bad body posture. The body is adjusting and preparing for a bigger, rounder me =) Though I may not agree with some issues, I have respect for culture and for that, I will go through some ideas or suggestions, as much as I can handle it. Also, just for the sake of it. And also to keep my Mom happy =)

I sincerely apologize if you think my thoughts are insulting you and your belief system. It is not my intention. Merely jotting down in my blog of my thoughts on this matter. But I do suggest people read more. In this century there are libraries and the Internet for reliable sources of information and readings. Scientists practically do time researching and proving what's right and what's not for us. Some information we received may have been useful during your time, and now studies have been done and found otherwise. Some don't even correlate. We are more widely informed and knowledge-able than 20-30-40 years ago and will continue be. We're no longer living in a world of the unknown. Think of one theory and Google it. I thank people for their advice, opinions and remarks but I make sure to consult my husband and do research on it first before digesting the idea. Unless if it's something harmless like name the baby after 7 days because our culture says so.

With that, I also keep this in mind whenever I hear ridiculous remarks. It's not about me, it's about them. They want to feel better about themselves for going through it during their time. Also for actually believing it. *wink* yeah, i do think they're actually smarter now and don't believe it anymore but it's too much to admit, huh ;p