Updates - 17.6 weeks

Well.. hello.
I felt your first strong kicks today.
3 strong ones.

I have been feeling lots of bubbles and movements but they all can be easily confused with bowel movements. Except for those 3 strong ones today. All good.

Since the last update, carrying you have continually proven to be a worrying and difficult pregnancy. There are more than often days when I decided to just leave this pregnancy in the hands of God. I am continuously preparing myself (as much I can) for the news of losing you. So yes, it is highly stressful and worrying. But I am also learning something incredible here. The power of NOT being able to control anything, and believing/leaving it in God. Because if you are meant to be, you are meant to be.

At our last appointment, we were summoned once again to the Womens Assessment Unit for another on-the-spot ultrasound. By then I was still bleeding weekly - missing only by few days.

They decided to do another vaginal check - like pap smear. Open up and swab. This particular doc appeared to be less experienced. She had to re-insert the thing twice or 3 times because it was at an angle that's very uncomfortable but she got it in the end. Thank god. Took a look. And swab. Gently pulled the thing out of me and felt a gush of blood and clots followed through. Damn.

I changed. She came back in and said "Your polyp is at on the larger side. About the size of a 50cents coin. I'll call in a surgeon to discuss the possibility of removing it and do an ultrasound as well."

Almost an hour later, the very tired looking surgeon came in along with the previous doc. "Sorry for the delay. I was in OT, just got out." We did the scan. You moved so much, it was amazing to watch. We heard your heartbeat and they also spotted fibroid. They didn't mention any concern, I asked and they said it doesn't seem to be obstructing anything. We shall leave it be. They concluded that all the bleeding must be coming from the polyp, everything inside looks normal. They want to consult another obgyn before deciding whether to remove it. They let us go home and will call about their decision. The risk right now is touching the cervix - to remove polyp. If they remove it, it might (as natural as our bodies are) trigger labour and you are too young to survive out in the world. They called later and decided not to touch it.

Meaning I shall expect to bleed until the end of pregnancy. And the crampings. And the backaches. And every discomfort I am having to endure that comes with it. Great.

So trying to be positive here. You are fine. Moving and kicking more than your sister. You are so different than her already. And I absolutely cannot wait to meet you. Let's turn our thoughts to shopping baby things now. Til then!